What a Fake Slut!!

Yes, even though I just did a feminism post a couple days ago, here comes another one since I'm feeling particularly feminist-tastic and the last post was rather lack-luster anyhow, so hopefully this will make up for it :)
One of the biggest part of feminism, I think, is defending women's rights to live the sort of lifestyle they want. I don't mean that I think that everybody that wants one should get a Gucci bag or a nice house- I mean that EVERYBODY should be allowed to do what they want, so long as it's not hurting others and they're still working to get their fair pay and what not. When I say this, oftentimes most people agree with me.
"Of course people should be able to do what they want with their lives!" they often agree, "If I'm happier with a blue collar job on a construction site than I am in an office, who are they to judge?"
However, most people don't seem to realize this also extends to less socially acceptable lifestyles as well. That's why I get so upset whenever I hear otherwise open-minded people see a tanned skin, scantily clad girl walking around the beach and roll their eyes and say "What a fake slut."
Now, let's have a talk about those two words- "fake" and "slut."
For the average American at least, "fake" seems to mean those girls who get breast implants and tans and weaves and whatnot. Of course, usually when I defend a girl's right to be "fake" without getting any crap from other people, I'm usually specifically referring to more alternative fashions, but I feel that more "mainstream fake" like that is fine too, though others don't seem to. So, what's the problem here?
When I asked most people why they automatically hate these girls who are immaculately tan during the dead of winter, most of them replied with something along the lines of "Well, they're always so slutty and full of themselves!"
The ironic thing is, a lot of people saying this say they're against stereotyping at the same time. Well, what do they think this is? Whether you like it or not, it's stereotyping.
I admit- I used to be totally guilty of mentally judging "slutty" girls too. My wake up call came a while ago, when I was walking in the mall by myself. There was one girl who, while not dressed too suggestively, was dressed rather light for the middle of winter and had all the "fake" attributes I mentioned before- tanned skin, piercings, weaves, the whole shebang. I could see people glaring at her out of the corner of their eyes, shamelessly judging her. I'm ashamed to admit it now, but I was right there with them.
While everybody was so busy silently judging this girl, a little kid wandered by, clearly lost. Nobody stopped to help him, except this girl. She gently asked him where his mom was, and he said he didn't know. She left with him to help him find his mother, and though I don't know what happened after that as I was walking in an opposite direction at that point, I do know that what that girl did was nice and she didn't seem like the terrible,  obnoxious person I'd judged her to be.
This made me realize that no matter what, stereotyping is ridiculous and while it's perfectly human to judge somebody a little when you look at them it's best to try to keep an open mind.
However, when it comes to "sluts," nobody seems to be able to do that. Honestly, who are you to negatively judge a woman based on her sex life? If a woman doesn't want to have one partner and would rather sleep around, that's her choice, and I can never understand why people are so bothered by it. Unless she's sleeping with a married/taken man, nobody has any good reason to say bad things about her sex life, unless of course they have religious reservations (though I believe I've met five people who frequently "slut bash" that actually practice a religion at all- many are actually anti-religious, which I find very ironic and annoying).
So, I ask- why all the slut hate? Why does everybody feel it's okay to stereotype JUST with these girls, but nobody else? If you do stereotype now, just know it's a very foolish thing to do, and you're missing out on meeting lots of great people by doing this.

Feminism and the Draft

It's been a while since I've written a feminist article (or any article really.. sorry about that!) so here's one now!!

Sometimes, arguing for feminist points can feel like an uphill battle. As I've said before, people think that the feminist's cause has been fulfilled, and at this point we're just a bunch of man-hating, pushy jerks trying to milk this "feminism" thing for all it's worth. Also as I've said before, that's definitely not true, and there are so many reasons feminism shouldn't die just yet!!
Whenever I'm arguing for feminist ideas, most people who think feminists are just "pushy bitches" will combat with something along these lines:
"Feminists just want all the rights men have when they don't even deserve it! They're not in the draft or anything!"
Even though I don't usually agree with much of anything else these people might say (though I certainly do listen to them- some of the anti-feminist points I've heard have been really good and something to think about!), I do agree that it's rather sad feminists haven't rallied for women to be included in the draft as well. As they people say, how can we expect equal rights if we aren't put at the same risk as men?
Some women may argue that women are generally less physically fit than men, and that is true (I myself am VERY physically weak...), but correct me if I'm wrong as I'm not very knowledgeable of the workings of the military, but aren't there plenty of other jobs to be done, jobs that people could be trained to do?
I've heard somewhere before that not many people in the military actually go out and fight. Why can't women (or men!) who are physically unable to fight be put in those spots? Of course, women could go out and fight as well, if they are physically fit.
So, that's my view point as far as the draft and feminism goes. I do feel it's unfair for women to ask for equal rights when we aren't included in "negative" things like this, so I ask women everywhere: If you want to have truly equal rights and want to be more respected, please fight for women in the draft when the time comes! It may not be what you want, but it is truly necessary in the grand scheme of things.

Those Bitchy Feminists

The other day, a friend of mine who I respected very much made a very off-colour "joke" that was basically just slut bashing on Facebook. I put "joke" in quotations because it wasn't so much a joke as a statement-dry and humorless, it wasn't funny at all. It was four words, and there was no thought put into it. "Sluts have no rights, LOL!" he oh-so-"jokingly" laughed.

Now, I'm not going to lie- I'm okay with sexist jokes. I think that a lot of jokes that cleverly poke fun at stereotypes for anything are funny, provided of course that everybody in on the joke is okay with that sort of humor. The majority of people don't take those jokes seriously at all, and it can be fun to laugh at how wrong these stereotypes are.

But of course, as there was no thought or any real humor put into this "joke," it wasn't funny. It wasn't playing on any stereotypes. It was just mean and asinine. So I called him out on it.

He didn't respond well at all to it.

His basic response was "JESUS CHRIST CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE!" I tried to keep it light, as I do detest conflict, but finally I got fed up, swallowed my fear of conflict and tried to debate with him.

It wasn't a debate so much as name-calling (at least on his part, tbh. I admit I was guilty of going off-topic for a sentence or two to refer to a couple of really off-handed statements he made, but I did try my best to remain as civil as possible). The whole thing ended with him telling me that it was sad that he was in a "stupid argument on Facebook," and that I "didn't understand him and how he doesn't give a f*ck" and that I "don't get his sense of humor." If you're reading this, you know who you are. Just know that I lost a lot of respect for you after this conversation, and this really demonstrated how hypocritical a lot of things you say can be (ie, if you really didn't "give a f*ck, why did you keep commenting?). But this whole incident did get me thinking, and I came up with this:

If this were the same joke but instead of saying "sluts" he said "gay people," and I had called him out on it, chances are there would not only be a LOT more people jumping on him along with me, but he would have seen the error of his ways and apologized for the humorless and thoughtless statement. Why is that, I wonder? It seems to me that so many people view feminists in our culture as "pushy" and "bitchy," even if that's just an example of how misogynist people can be without even realizing it (an assertive woman seems to= bitchy in modern culture). However, people who battle for other rights don't seem to be viewed anywhere near as negatively as feminists. Is it because people into gay rights obviously still have a far way to go, whereas women in the US can vote and have (for the most part) completely equal rights? Is it because the whole debate about gay marriage vs. no gay marriage is completely visible to the public, but the hidden misogyny in people's statements and attitudes is so well-concealed since these misogynist attitudes are so socially acceptable?

Let me say that I am totally FOR gay rights, definitely. I think it's a VERY worthy cause to be active for and I myself definitely call people out on it if they're being homophobic without even realizing it, but even then I don't participate in the gay rights movement nearly as much as I'd like to. I was just using gay rights as an example.

But my point is, people seem to think feminists have it all, that there is nothing to fight for. What about the hidden misogynist attitudes I just spoke about that are so deeply embedded into our culture that they're socially acceptable? What about the women shamed and humiliated because they weren't "careful" enough and got raped? What about the women in Congress with unequal pay? Don't even get me started on the women in the middle east who have to deal with attitudes even worse than what American women had to face at the worst times!!

People seem to think that the feminist's mission is over, that at this point they're just being "bitchy" and "pushy" and are something to be ignored, but that is obviously far from the case. I think what us feminists need to do is make people more aware of the issues involving feminism that are still around today, so that maybe, just MAYBE if we call somebody out for their misogynist attitudes, they won't view us as the person fighting for the dead cause. Maybe if we try hard enough, we can show people that feminism is a very worthy cause not to be ignored, and that we are far from done.

Slut Shaming

In addition to being a lolita, I am a raging feminist. When I tell people this, they tend to raise an eyebrow, eyeing my frilly dresses and cutesy accessories. Most people don't question me to my face, though I can tell what they're thinking: "How can THAT be a feminist? She's the girliest thing I've seen all day!" I know, because one or two people have asked me basically that after I told them this. My response is this:"I dress for myself, not for any man. I wear these clothes because I like them, not because that's what society tells me I should look like. After all, that is what TRUE feminism is, in my opinon: the idea of a woman living out her own life doing whatever she'd like, not necessarily with a significant other in the equation, without being ridiculed or looked down upon (Of course, men should be able to do the same thing, but they have far less problems with sexism). If that "something" I'd like to do with my life is dress up covered head-to-toe in ultra-frilly clothing, and I support other womens' rights to do what they would like with their own life, I am a feminist."(That being said, has anybody ever actually met a man off the street who finds lolita attractive? The only people I can think of who would find lolita immediately pretty are creepers, and who honestly thinks anyone would dress up for them? :P)That being said, when I say a woman should be able to do what she wants in life, I mean EVERYTHING. So, one thing that makes me extremely angry is slut shaming. I've heard so many so-called "feminists" scoff at a woman's outfit because it is tight-fitting/revealing/etc, which I could understand if said woman was at a school or another place where you are required to cover up, but whenever I hear this uttered it's usually at a place where it is acceptable to show some skin. Worse yet, if a woman gets raped and she was dressed like a "slut," then some people might say she deserved it because she was "asking for it"! Saying ANYBODY deserves to be raped is the worst thing that a person can say. NOBODY "asks" to be raped, and likewise NOBODY deserves it. If somebody is sexually harrassed or raped, it seems like if the woman was doing ANYTHING wrong (including wearing "slutty" clothing) then the people who actually committed the heinous crime don't matter anymore, because it was ALL the woman's fault. Whenever I hear somebody victim-blame like this, I just want so say "NO. Go back to step one and TRY AGAIN you sick bastard." Saying this will immediately make me lose all respect for you.So, next time you go to call some celebrity or that girl on the beach a "slut," just remember that you are setting back feminism, and you really ought to be ashamed of yourself if you consider yourself a feminist. If women can have the right to dress frumpy, or over-done, or in pretty much anyway, why is being "slutty" such a bad thing?