I just realized that when I wrote the introductory post I promised lolita links at the end, but completely forgot! I'm so sorry! Things like that just slip my mind sometimes...
So, to make up for that slip-up, here's a slightly longer post with more links and descriptions of the sites the link will lead you to:
www.lolitafashion.org -A very nice website with basic descriptions of all lolita styles. I'm not sure how the forum is, though.
community.livejournal.com/egl -the main base for the western lolita community. I've found the memories on that particular community to be so helpful!
community.livejournal.com/daily_lolita -A community where lolitas post their everyday outfits. Some of the people on there might not be the BEST examples of lolita, and there's an issue on there where it seems like quite a few people are afraid to give honest criticism ("honest criticism" being pointing out an issue or flaw with an outfit in the nicest way possible and possibly suggesting a way to improve it, not bitching somebody out for wearing cat ears)
community.livejournal.com/egl_comm_sales -Another livejournal community where lolitas sell their used stuff for a discounted rate (though lolita does have a VERY high re-sale value so don't expect dirt-cheap prices). Lately, however, there had been an issue with scammers.
www.avantgauche.co.uk -Now, this is probably outdated, but I remember when I was first getting into lolita this site helped a lot, especially the store-link section.
www.babyssb.co.jp -A nice Japanese name-brand store that sells lolita clothing (and my favorite brand!). Baby, the Stars Shine Bright also has a very cool pirate-lolita subline, Alice and the Pirates.
www.bodyline.co.jp -Sort of like the Wal-Mart of Japanese fashion, Bodyline is fairly cheap though quite a few of their items are of questionable taste and quality, though occasionally you can find a nice piece there for a good price (and they have gotten especially good about quality in recent years!). However, there is a sort of negative stigma with Bodyline clothing among lolitas, though I honestly could care less about it.
lolita-charm.blogspot.com -One of my favorite blogs from a sweet lolita.
fyeahlolita.blogspot.com- Another one of my favorite blogs, this one from a more classical/gothic lolita.
If you are curious about lolita, or haven't heard of any of these sites, please check them out! They're all great! :)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Slut Shaming
In addition to being a lolita, I am a raging feminist. When I tell people this, they tend to raise an eyebrow, eyeing my frilly dresses and cutesy accessories. Most people don't question me to my face, though I can tell what they're thinking: "How can THAT be a feminist? She's the girliest thing I've seen all day!" I know, because one or two people have asked me basically that after I told them this. My response is this:"I dress for myself, not for any man. I wear these clothes because I like them, not because that's what society tells me I should look like. After all, that is what TRUE feminism is, in my opinon: the idea of a woman living out her own life doing whatever she'd like, not necessarily with a significant other in the equation, without being ridiculed or looked down upon (Of course, men should be able to do the same thing, but they have far less problems with sexism). If that "something" I'd like to do with my life is dress up covered head-to-toe in ultra-frilly clothing, and I support other womens' rights to do what they would like with their own life, I am a feminist."(That being said, has anybody ever actually met a man off the street who finds lolita attractive? The only people I can think of who would find lolita immediately pretty are creepers, and who honestly thinks anyone would dress up for them? :P)That being said, when I say a woman should be able to do what she wants in life, I mean EVERYTHING. So, one thing that makes me extremely angry is slut shaming. I've heard so many so-called "feminists" scoff at a woman's outfit because it is tight-fitting/revealing/etc, which I could understand if said woman was at a school or another place where you are required to cover up, but whenever I hear this uttered it's usually at a place where it is acceptable to show some skin. Worse yet, if a woman gets raped and she was dressed like a "slut," then some people might say she deserved it because she was "asking for it"! Saying ANYBODY deserves to be raped is the worst thing that a person can say. NOBODY "asks" to be raped, and likewise NOBODY deserves it. If somebody is sexually harrassed or raped, it seems like if the woman was doing ANYTHING wrong (including wearing "slutty" clothing) then the people who actually committed the heinous crime don't matter anymore, because it was ALL the woman's fault. Whenever I hear somebody victim-blame like this, I just want so say "NO. Go back to step one and TRY AGAIN you sick bastard." Saying this will immediately make me lose all respect for you.So, next time you go to call some celebrity or that girl on the beach a "slut," just remember that you are setting back feminism, and you really ought to be ashamed of yourself if you consider yourself a feminist. If women can have the right to dress frumpy, or over-done, or in pretty much anyway, why is being "slutty" such a bad thing?
Lolita on a Budget
A lot of lolitas, myself included, have to shop on a budget. Being a younger lolita, I have a very limited income (just my allowance and whatever I can get from doing the occasional odd job!), so I have had to find ways to buy lolita on a very limited budget! Naturally, instead of buying a closet full of brand, I've had to buy all off-brand clothes with just one or two brand accessories thrown in, like my Baby the Stars Shine Bright muffler (which is the cutest thing ever!). Still, even off-brand clothes can get rather pricey if you shop online, as you have to factor in shipping and lolita-specific clothes are usually pricey in the first place. So, I've compiled a list of tips for shopping for non-lolita specific items when you're just shopping around:
Look for full skirts!
Specifically, full enough to hold a petticoat. Also keep in mind that the skirt should be around knee-length, and made of good quality materials (In fact, those are my "three rules of lolita"- Full skirts, knee-length and high-quality materials. But more on that later). But what if you find a skirt that looks great, but isn't the right length? Or a skirt that's just too simple? Which leads me to my next point...
Learn to sew, if even just a little bit.
Mainly so you can modify your clothes a bit. I personally have two success stories of finding awesome clothes in a store and modifying them to fit lolita better. One was a gingham skirt from Wal-Mart (gasp!) that was full enough on it's own and the perfect length for lolita, but unfortunately didn't have quite enough details on it for my taste. Since the skirt was only $2, I purchased two of the same skirt and used the fabric from the second skirt to make bows and ruffles to tack on the first skirt. The end result was a nice, casual country loli-esque skirt that is actually pretty full on its own. The second garment I modified nicely was a red dress also from Wal-mart that had a lovely, frilly top, but the bottom was just too long and looked extremely awkward. This one was in a way easier to modify, since all I wanted to do was shorten the skirt length. So, all I did was cut the skirt to just below knee-length, hem it, and use the excess material to make matching bows! The dress is also quite nice for casual lolita wear, so I wear it to places where I wouldn't want to wear my "proper" lolita clothes (read: Bodyline!).
If it's not lolita or can't be made lolita, don't buy it.
Of course, it's not like you can't buy any "normal" clothes ever again, but I found it was helpful when I was first starting my lolita wardrobe (which, mind you, still needs quite a bit of work!) to try to withhold from buying anything that I couldn't use for my loli coordinates. This way, I was able to afford on my shoestring budget a few basic things that couldn't be bought in stores (bloomers, a petticoat, etc) and still buy quite a few loli-esque skirts and blouses, leading to my wardrobe which can be easily passed as lolita. Saving money in general is a necessary skill for anybody who wants to be able to wear lolita regularly, which is the subject of the next tip...
Learn money-saving skills!
I'm not going to lie, I'm the worst when it comes to impulse buys. I'll see something totally useless in a store (like hamburger earmuffs), think it's just the coolest thing ever and buy it, only to never use it ever! However, when I decided I wanted to wear lolita I learned to control this. I learned to stop myself before I buy something and think, "Is this something I really want? Will I use it regularly?" This also helped me save up the money necessary to pay the ridiculous shipping from Bodyline for my "nice" loli clothes and also helped expand my wardrobe.
Still, don't be afraid to buy accessories.I hate to admit it, but before I started wearing lolita, I only dressed like a boy! It wasn't like I hated fashion or anything, but no American fashion I'd ever seen was extravagant enough to catch my interest (except for anything at Hot Topic, which I liked for about half a year in 8th grade but quickly gave up when I discovered I just didn't feel comfortable in tiny skirts). So, when I did start my never-ending quest for a lolita wardrobe, I didn't really have much of anything at all that could be incorporated into a lolita wardrobe. This is where my impulse buying came in handy. I'd go to Forever 21, see a headbow or a cute necklace, and buy it at the drop of a hat! My accessory collection increased exponentially in a short time, which is good because now that I've "trained" myself I can't just go and buy a simple necklace without feeling bad for not thinking things through!
So, that's about all I have to say for shopping non-lolita specific items on a budget. It can be rather challenging, and I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't prefer a wardrobe full of brand (or even just replicas!) as opposed to my wardrobe of all off-brand and Bodyline, but in a way it's rewarding to know that even though you don't have a real job, you were still able to look like a lolita, you just tried. Good luck, fellow poor lolitas!
Look for full skirts!
Specifically, full enough to hold a petticoat. Also keep in mind that the skirt should be around knee-length, and made of good quality materials (In fact, those are my "three rules of lolita"- Full skirts, knee-length and high-quality materials. But more on that later). But what if you find a skirt that looks great, but isn't the right length? Or a skirt that's just too simple? Which leads me to my next point...
Learn to sew, if even just a little bit.
Mainly so you can modify your clothes a bit. I personally have two success stories of finding awesome clothes in a store and modifying them to fit lolita better. One was a gingham skirt from Wal-Mart (gasp!) that was full enough on it's own and the perfect length for lolita, but unfortunately didn't have quite enough details on it for my taste. Since the skirt was only $2, I purchased two of the same skirt and used the fabric from the second skirt to make bows and ruffles to tack on the first skirt. The end result was a nice, casual country loli-esque skirt that is actually pretty full on its own. The second garment I modified nicely was a red dress also from Wal-mart that had a lovely, frilly top, but the bottom was just too long and looked extremely awkward. This one was in a way easier to modify, since all I wanted to do was shorten the skirt length. So, all I did was cut the skirt to just below knee-length, hem it, and use the excess material to make matching bows! The dress is also quite nice for casual lolita wear, so I wear it to places where I wouldn't want to wear my "proper" lolita clothes (read: Bodyline!).
If it's not lolita or can't be made lolita, don't buy it.
Of course, it's not like you can't buy any "normal" clothes ever again, but I found it was helpful when I was first starting my lolita wardrobe (which, mind you, still needs quite a bit of work!) to try to withhold from buying anything that I couldn't use for my loli coordinates. This way, I was able to afford on my shoestring budget a few basic things that couldn't be bought in stores (bloomers, a petticoat, etc) and still buy quite a few loli-esque skirts and blouses, leading to my wardrobe which can be easily passed as lolita. Saving money in general is a necessary skill for anybody who wants to be able to wear lolita regularly, which is the subject of the next tip...
Learn money-saving skills!
I'm not going to lie, I'm the worst when it comes to impulse buys. I'll see something totally useless in a store (like hamburger earmuffs), think it's just the coolest thing ever and buy it, only to never use it ever! However, when I decided I wanted to wear lolita I learned to control this. I learned to stop myself before I buy something and think, "Is this something I really want? Will I use it regularly?" This also helped me save up the money necessary to pay the ridiculous shipping from Bodyline for my "nice" loli clothes and also helped expand my wardrobe.
Still, don't be afraid to buy accessories.I hate to admit it, but before I started wearing lolita, I only dressed like a boy! It wasn't like I hated fashion or anything, but no American fashion I'd ever seen was extravagant enough to catch my interest (except for anything at Hot Topic, which I liked for about half a year in 8th grade but quickly gave up when I discovered I just didn't feel comfortable in tiny skirts). So, when I did start my never-ending quest for a lolita wardrobe, I didn't really have much of anything at all that could be incorporated into a lolita wardrobe. This is where my impulse buying came in handy. I'd go to Forever 21, see a headbow or a cute necklace, and buy it at the drop of a hat! My accessory collection increased exponentially in a short time, which is good because now that I've "trained" myself I can't just go and buy a simple necklace without feeling bad for not thinking things through!
So, that's about all I have to say for shopping non-lolita specific items on a budget. It can be rather challenging, and I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't prefer a wardrobe full of brand (or even just replicas!) as opposed to my wardrobe of all off-brand and Bodyline, but in a way it's rewarding to know that even though you don't have a real job, you were still able to look like a lolita, you just tried. Good luck, fellow poor lolitas!
New blog!
Hello! My name is Kaley! Some of you (though probably very, VERY few) may remember my old blog, frillyparadise.blogspot.com . Now, what's the story, you may ask? Why would I start a blog and then a new one just right after I started actually updating? Actually, the answer is very simple, if a bit embarassing. I found that after about ten minutes I didn't really like the name "Frilly Paradise." This is probably because I'm one of those people who doesn't plan ahead for these sort of things so I just kind of made crap up when they told me to come up with a blog name. Still, I attempted to continue with that blog, convincing myself I'd warm up to the name, but it's just... not working out.
So yes, the stupidest reason of all time for starting a new blog: a name change! Since this is JUST a name change and I don't really have much on my old blog right now, what I'm going to do is add all the old posts from that blog to this one (so like, two :P). If you read my old blog at all (probably not because I did NOTHING to promote it xD), then you know the drill. If not, then welcome!
In this blog, I will discuss many things (including some personal affairs should anything interesting happen!). However, most posts will revolve around my all-time favorite topic-- lolita fashion. Now, I don't want to go into a whole "lolita fashion for dummies" post, so if you honestly have no idea what lolita is, or are picturing it as a fetish thing (protip: it isn't), then please visit some of the links I'll provide at the end of the link to get an idea of what lolita is! It is truly a beautiful fashion and well worth a visit to any of those sites! I will probably also get into other fashions that relate to lolita (ie, mori girl, fairy-kei, aristocrat, kodona), though those will probably be more introductory posts for people who haven't reallly heard of those fashions, as I myself still have so much to learn about all those adorable fashions, including lolita to an extent!
Based on the name, you should be able to figure out that I am also a raging feminist, even if I do insist on dressing in frilly things as often as I can (which some people seem to find anti-feminist, for some reason :/). As such, this blog will also have quite a few posts on feminism. If you are a man and reading this, though, don't worry! I am anything but a man-basher. I don't think men are entirely responsible for every trouble women encounter- just the few bad ones who probably will not be reading this blog. I believe feminism is about women (and men!) being able to choose what they want in life without being ridiculed or hurt for their beliefs.
So, for anyone who sat through this entire introductory post (get used to it; I tend to write way too much!), thank you, and I really hope you continue to read and enjoy my blog!
So yes, the stupidest reason of all time for starting a new blog: a name change! Since this is JUST a name change and I don't really have much on my old blog right now, what I'm going to do is add all the old posts from that blog to this one (so like, two :P). If you read my old blog at all (probably not because I did NOTHING to promote it xD), then you know the drill. If not, then welcome!
In this blog, I will discuss many things (including some personal affairs should anything interesting happen!). However, most posts will revolve around my all-time favorite topic-- lolita fashion. Now, I don't want to go into a whole "lolita fashion for dummies" post, so if you honestly have no idea what lolita is, or are picturing it as a fetish thing (protip: it isn't), then please visit some of the links I'll provide at the end of the link to get an idea of what lolita is! It is truly a beautiful fashion and well worth a visit to any of those sites! I will probably also get into other fashions that relate to lolita (ie, mori girl, fairy-kei, aristocrat, kodona), though those will probably be more introductory posts for people who haven't reallly heard of those fashions, as I myself still have so much to learn about all those adorable fashions, including lolita to an extent!
Based on the name, you should be able to figure out that I am also a raging feminist, even if I do insist on dressing in frilly things as often as I can (which some people seem to find anti-feminist, for some reason :/). As such, this blog will also have quite a few posts on feminism. If you are a man and reading this, though, don't worry! I am anything but a man-basher. I don't think men are entirely responsible for every trouble women encounter- just the few bad ones who probably will not be reading this blog. I believe feminism is about women (and men!) being able to choose what they want in life without being ridiculed or hurt for their beliefs.
So, for anyone who sat through this entire introductory post (get used to it; I tend to write way too much!), thank you, and I really hope you continue to read and enjoy my blog!
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