Style update: A stab at fairy-kei

I've loved fairy-kei for a while, especially with my recent obsession with all things 80's. As a lover of super-sweet Lolita, I'm naturally drawn to pastels and cute themes, both of which fairy-kei has. Recently, I finally acquired enough pastel pieces in my arsenal to do a sort of half-asses fairy-kei coord. Thus, here's what I wore to school today:

(first pic is horrid quality partially because of the lighting, partially because of my camera and partially because my mirror needs a good cleaning that I just didn't have time to give it in the morning. Sorry about that!)

Rundown:

Sweatshirt: Old Navy

T-shirt/brooches: Pink Macaroon

Necklace: Pretty Pop Designs

Petti/tights/frames: Various ebay shops

Shoes: Converse

Hair bow: Chocomint

You can't really see it in any of the pictures, but my hair was up in a bun with this amazing super-fluffy bow holding it in place (it really reminded me of candy!). Also, I'm totally in love with the t-shirt- it's from the indie brand Pink Macaroon, from whom I am strongly considering purchasing a lovely giant custom unicorn bag. It's a bit pricey, but for something so lovely I think it just might be worth the price :)

Thanks for reading!!

What I'm thankful for~

Hello! I realize it's a bit late, but because I haven't posted in a while, here's a short list of things that I'm thankful, both the little and the small <3 Bear with me if this gets a bit cheesy here; but this is a Thanksgiving post so I'm allowed to get cheesy :P

1.) My dogs
Jesus Christ I just love these guys so much. Both my parents work (as many parents do nowadays; entirely necessary in this tight economy!) but it's just the best feeling to have these two dogs greet you super-enthusiastically like your coming home is the absolute best thing in the world.

2.) The health of myself and my family
I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified of hospitals (though hopefully I'll be able to get over that somewhat when I donate blood this Friday; I entirely expect to pass out :P ). It's a bit selfish, but I'm SO happy I don't have to spend a whole lot of time in them, for myself or others. That's not to say I wouldn't if I had to- but it's best to not have to at all, isn't it?

3.) The prosperity of my entire family
I realize many have been hit hard by this difficult economy, and I just feel so lucky that my family hasn't been hit too hard by the recent hardships. Both my parents have kept their jobs, and the worst that has happened at my school so far was that the home economics program was cut- hardly necessary, compared to the foreign language classes that many schools have been losing lately!

4.) Just how lovely the area I live in is
I told you this would get cheesy :P
I live in a totally white New England suburb, and while I do find many things to bitch about (the hick-like feel to some parts of town, the fact that there seems to be free winters then summer), I am really lucky to live in such a nice area. I can walk around during the day by myself without worrying about getting hurt, and there's not smog in the air all over the place. While I can't wait to move into NYC (which I actually had the chance to visit lately- I might just go to Hunter College!), for now this area can be quite beautiful.

5.) Fooooood
I really like food. I think there's like five pies in my fridge right now left over from Thanksgiving, and I am extremely thankful for that.

That's about it for now! Sorry about the lack of style updates lately- I have worn a couple of outfits lately, but my camera has been going lately so unfortunately all pictures have been deleted ;-; (it's too bad- I wanted to share some shots of NYC with you guys!). Fortunately, I've been talking to my parents and I might just get a new camera for Christmas!
Speaking of which, I'm really looking forward to this season... now that I have a job, I can finally afford nicer presents! Just this afternoon, I took advantage of some deals and got my dad a nice present, along with some super-rad My Little Pony wrapping paper! I might even participate in one of those Toys for Tots drives places have every year, even if all I end up being able to do is donate my time.
Hope you all enjoy the upcoming holiday season as much as I do! <3

So I'm a bit of a narcissist~

Lately, I've been on "pause" mode a bit, style-wise. Sure, I've gotten some new clothes here and there, however mostly just casual clothes. Between my job, volunteer work, after school activities and school itself I haven't had much time to scour the egl comm sales in search of the cheapest jumperskirt, or to finally figure out how to use that confangled Mbok thing.

However, what I have been doing this year that's bee highly beneficial appearance-wise is getting up early, giving me more time to do my makeup. Last year I only wore it now and then, but this year I've worn it pretty much every day- I've actually gotten pretty decent at applying it!

With my recent makeup fascination, I've often tried to take more detailed makeup shots, but I just can't accept the fact that my camera is awful and will never be good at that sort of thing so I always end up with like 100 grainy photos of my right eye and a few "vanity shots," if you will. The result is that if you look at picture folder I will look like the biggest narcissist ever due to having 100+ of these sorts of shots of myself, and I regret nothing.

Because secretly I actually am a narcissist, here's a few of my favourite shots of myself~

 This was the first time I wore circle lenses in a "casual" (ie not a costume) outfit. I thought the makeup looked almost gal, except without the contouring and falsies (so maybe not at all really) :P

 My unicorn costume for Halloween! I could NOT get a decent shot with my horn in it, unfortunately >.> It's too bad too; I love that horn!

 I don't even know what I was trying to accomplish with this shot, but I kind of like it either way.

 For a while, this was my default pic EVERYWHERE. I still kind of like it; I usually suck horribly at taking profile pics of myself (I always try to take some so I can make one of those Victorian silhouette pictures but it always comes out horribly and ends in frustration, especially when I resign myself to asking a family member and they think it's the most hilarious thing ever that I'm not smiling for the picture)

For some reason I don't have a text-free version of this picture on my PC, so here's my crappy Gaia-banner version, complete with advertisements for this blog that's brought in a grand total of maybe seven visitors.

ALSO, I changed the name of this blog AGAIN. This time, it's Unicorn Doll, for reasons that I'll hopefully get to discuss in the next post I have planned (don't get too excited; it's nothing that interesting). I didn't change the address this time though, since the old address still had something to do with unicorns and it'd be a pain in the butt to have to go to all the places I have links to my "personal site" on and change everything.

So, that's really about it... a horribly lackluster post, I know. I just wanted something so I don't end up like the last couple of months and only post like one thing per month >.>

That was pretty bad.

On Confidence

Recently, I've had a couple of friends who have expressed legitimate interest in Lolita. Most of them are okay financially, they just need help style-wise and learning where to buy. However, there has been one huge obstacle that I've noticed people getting into Lolita- or alternative fashion in general- have to face...
"I love the look and I think it's REALLY cute, but I don't think I'd feel comfortable enough with myself to wear it..." I hear many people say, quite unfortunately.
I can't stand it to hear somebody express an interest in an alternative fashion (and quite often somebody that could pull it off very well), only to hear them say they can't wear it because they don't have the confidence. I really do hate that.
Unfortunately, it does take a huge amount of confidence to wear Lolita, especially outside of conventions and places where Lolitas are more common and accepted- wear it to the mall, and you WILL get stared at and you WILL get comments, not all of which are good. Some people can't take it, or don't want to deal with it. Often when I've spoken to girls like this on the subject, they say they just can't understand how Lolitas deal with all the attention.
I'm not going to lie- building true confidence takes a lot of time and effort. It takes a sense of comfortableness with your body and personality, will and determination, the ability to ignore hurtful negativity (the keyword here being "hurtful..." while it is good to ignore senseless insults, well thought-out critique helps you improve your work and takes the person who wrote it time and effort, and thus it should be accepted gratefully and taken into consideration!). Believe me, I know how difficult it is- I used to have the self-esteem of a smelly armpit and those were not fun times.
Building confidence is different for everyone, just like everyone is different, but nonetheless here are some tips I found helped me when I was still learning to be a bit more confident:


1.) Try your best to perceive yourself positively
This one's a biggie, and certainly probably one of the most difficult. When you look in a mirror, it's easy to be tempted to stare at your huge nose, or those god-awful bitten nails of yours, or your thunder thighs. If you want to feel comfortable with yourself, you have to learn to look past all that for a while! You have to look at yourself in the mirror and think "I have really nice hair," or "my skin looks clear today."
Try looking at your "negative" aspects more positively, too! Your nails may be bitten, but they're attached to long, slender fingers. Your nose isn't "huge," it's "defined." You may not have the "ideal" body type, but you know, those gorgeous women in the old Renaissance paintings were a bit on the heavy side, and they weren't exactly what you would call "ugly." If there's a certain part of yourself you just really don't feel comfortable with that can easily be changed, like nail length or hair colour, just change it! If you can't afford it, or it's something you really just can't change... learn to love it. There's really beauty in everything, even if the mainstream isn't in love with it.
They say that if you tell yourself something enough, even if it's something you don't believe in to begin with, over time you convince yourself that it's true. Just keep telling yourself you're beautiful, and even if you don't think you are in the beginning (which you are, trust me), you'll eventually start to perceive yourself as prettier without "lying to yourself," as I felt I was doing when I first started doing it.


2.) Walk like you mean it
It sounds strange, but changing my posture and the way I walk has IMMENSELY helped my confidence. I used to walk in this kind of hilarious slow shuffle; head down, occasionally bumping into people because I couldn't see where I was going. One day I realized, "wait, this is stupid. I can't see where I'm going," and looked up. It was odd at first, looking everybody in the eye as I passed them. It was even more odd when I started to try to improve my posture and suddenly I was two inches taller. Even worse was when I tried to walk in a stride rather than a shuffle and suddenly the world was moving so fast. But, in the end, it all really helped!
If you walk like you own the place, people will better be able to see your confidence (even if you don't really have it yet). If you're dressed strangely, they're more likely to leave you alone because you don't look like that shy, vulnerable girl shuffling around the mall staring at the floor. Plus, it just feels so nice to see the world as you walk through it and not the floor tiles, lovely as they may be.


3.) Love others, as well
It's definitely not a good thing to insult other people to feel better about yourself! It's probably the worst way, in fact- kicking somebody and ruining their own confidence just makes you a horrid person, not a nice, confident person that people are attracted to.
I've found that the opposite helps- thinking good things about other people, as well as yourself. Seeing people and thinking "oh, she looks very pretty" or "she seems so happy!" moves you into a more positive mindset, as well as potentially attracting other people to you if you're more vocal about it. If you're more optimistic about life, you tend to be more optimistic about yourself- thus, confidence!
But- and this is a big but- be very careful to never compare other people to yourself!! If you think things like "Her hair is so much nicer than mine," you'll just depreciate yourself, put yourself in a bad mood and suddenly you hate yourself and everybody, ESPECIALLY that bitch with the cool hair. Really, I don't think there's any comparing other people to yourself- I know you might hear it all the time, but really just let it sink in- everybody is their own unique person with their own strengths and faults. Really, think about it- that bitch might have cool hair, but your hair is your very own. You can do something completely new with it, and have hair that people and yourself will think is ten times cooler than the bitch's will ever be.


5.) Work on your flaws
Of course, I don't mean become anorexic so you can lose weight or blow all your money on makeup and make yourself miserable by slaving away to get ready every morning when you really don't feel like it- if anything, those things will just make you feel worse.
However, usually if people have low self-confidence, it's for a reason. Maybe they have poor grades, or maybe they are a bit overweight... there are a variety of reasons. Unfortunately, not all of these are legitimate reasons and are usually brought on by bullying. If that's the case, I'm obviously no expert on these situations but I think it would be wise to seek help and try your best to avoid/ignore the bullies.
However, if your self-esteem is low because of a flaw that you could obviously use some work on, by all means work on it! Study your hardest to get better grades. Follow a healthy diet and work-out schedule. Learn to properly apply makeup for your own benefit. Even if you don't get the best grades, or you don't lose much weight, or you don't become the prettiest girl in school the only thing that matters is that YOU feel good about yourself, and screw what other people think (though, as I always point out in these situations, to a healthy extent- don't scare off potential employers by wearing white face to an interview, etc etc). Trust me, I did all these things and while I may not be the the prettiest, or the thinnest, or the smartest kid in my class I have improved in all of these areas and I couldn't be happier with my progress.

Overall, the most important things to improve one confidence to remember are that you're your own person, everyone is beautiful and has skills and qualities to be admired in different areas, and no matter what people say you always try your hardest! So remember ladies, walk with your head held high and remember that no matter what people might yell at you from the sidewalk, and no matter what you may think of yourself now:
You are amazing in your own way <3